Diary of Life: The Hermit in January
“Therefore, dear Sir, love your solitude and try to sing out with the pain it causes you.”
―Rainer Maria Rilke,Letters to a Young Poet
Well, well, well…
It’s been a doozy and just like the drunk man on a captain-less ship and helpless ship, hopelessly ceaselessly tossing every which way…I bitch and bend but don’t break as we crash into each and every big, big wave. Well, that’s how Wk 1 of 2025 has been, well at the very least, how it has very personally felt. Feeling isn’t being, though, no, no, it really isn’t, and if I’m being honest, it’s been so absurdly and absolutely painfully boring, all things considered, state-side, all things considered, real time, and real life. I’m excited because I’m taking this for winter’s full breath (Jan/Feb/March), it’s very much resting, then resetting of all of my big and little things…
For starters, the theme for January is The Hermit (Virgo), an invitation for sedentary sedation to plan, prep, and proceed with the new era of what life, lust, and love will/ can/ could and— or may bring. Additionally, this week’s energy is led by the VI of Pentacles, inviting Balance, Generosity, Gratitude, and boy, if I’m being honest, I needed that reminder. This past week really reminded me of all my easy pitfalls and how much comfort I can find in them, and it reignited my desire to continue pushing myself to do and be more and to do it just because I’m alive and it brings me a sense of courageous joy.
The last week (really 1.5-2 weeks) I was just in a shitty mood, focused so much on what was lost and the self-imposed pressure to succeed. I feel reinvigorated partially because there is less chaos surrounding me (Holiday Madness/ Visiting Family/ Work/). I do wish I had been a better host to my family (Familia Trujillo-Cuevas), but I felt so out of myself that I couldn’t host…I don’t think my approach was the best, but I’m only newly rediscovering my own boundaries and how to navigate enforcing them.
Outside of family, I have a new approach simmering or in development for my work…I’m gonna ride the wave. I want to enjoy my job again, and it honestly is such a privileged position that I need to revel in it and how I can do my best. This past week in regards to my job and work ethic, I really didn’t enjoy how I was showing up…just because I can doesn’t mean I should…I always tell myself “ if you know better, why not do better.” but I haven’t been living that as my truth and have always chosen the path of least resistance. I know that every day won’t be a great day or even a good or okay day, but I want to end each and all of my days with the knowledge that I did my part. I tried my best in all the ways that matter.
This is new. Each day I am new. This is all new to me, and I’m glad to be on my little messy ride of life. I think I’m getting it. It all seems clearer, gayer somehow. I’ll make sure to take more and more pictures and I’ll make sure to remember the details. Wednesday Diary of Life…Sunday Tarot Post. Everything else on a whim or structured schedule TBD.
…Holding space for hermit crabs today xoxox love always Bbb
